As a product of a single parent household, I know first hand what it feels like to need a strong male role model in your life. I take absolutely nothing away from my mother, but of course there are certain things a mother can’t teach her son about being a man.

My mother at one point worked 4 jobs in an effort to support our home and make sure that I never wanted for anything. Working 60-70 hour work weeks, but still making it to every football game, parade, award ceremony, etc. Something was still missing, my father. Due to the decisions my father made in his life, kept him out of mine. For the longest time I resented him and wished I could have that “ happy home” like everyone else. I wished that I could’ve learn how to shave and how to be a man from the man who was my biological father, but that wasn’t in God’s plans.

As a momma’s boy, I wanted nothing more for my mother than to be unconditionally happy. Even if my father wasn’t the man to do it. As I grew older, I realized that my mother’s happiness was the thing that made me the happiest. Seeing her genuinely happy was amazing. I owe a lot of her happiness my step-father. This man made up for the absence of my biological father. He helped raise me and mold me into the man I am today. Unselfishly stepping up as the man in me and my mother’s life. For that I owe him gratitude forever.

Even though my mom and step father are no longer together, he still is the person I call first if I ever need anything. We have built an everlasting relationship and I will always cherish him as a father-figure. The one thing he never did was try and make me forget my father. He always demanded that I have respect for my father and that he could never replace him. This of course was really confusing at a young age, but as I grew up it made sense. My biological father will always be my dad no matter who came in my mother’s life. Now that I am older, me and my biological father’s relationship is in a better place due in part of the teachings of my step-father.

In the media, you see examples of a hurt father vs caring stepdad with Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson and Rapper Future. If I could give any advice to the two parties is to respect one another. Look at the relationship I have with my family, we are not perfect but we have found the perfect blend to make our family happy. As long as no harm comes to the child, there should be no problems. Pride and ego aside we as men must step up to the plate and be in our children’s lives and let them know that they have a strong support system no matter if daddy and mommy are together or not.