This time last year I was having the time of my life as a Graduating Senior from the illustrious “Mecca” of black education: The Howard University.

The late nights up editing news packages, piecing together audio stories, and other miscellaneous homework kept me busy, as the end of college career was slowly coming to an end . The home stretch of my time at Howard was in the distance and it was extremely close to ending.

I would always say “Mannnnnn, I can’t wait to graduate and live my best life !” or so I thought would be. By this time most if my School of Business friends had locked down positions at some great companies like Cox, Accenture, and Booz Allen Hamilton and so on. I was and still am extremely proud of my friends, but I couldn’t help but to feel a slight bit jealous that I was jobless and creeping up on graduation. That big day came on May 12, 2017, I was done college and everything would be lit… or so I thought.

Fast-forward to Summer 2017, I’ve graduated from Howard still jobless but optimistic for the future. I had some time to clear my head because I was traveling to Ghana, West Africa as a Yaali fellow. Two weeks in the birthplace of my family (83.3 % of my family is traced back to Ghana). To top it off I would be spending my 22nd birthday halfway around the world. A little black boy  from New Orleans, was traveling and walking amongst the same streets of his ancestors.

Ghana was one of the best experiences of my life. Being fully immersed in the culture of my people and falling in love with the beautiful country and their residents. Those two weeks will forever be in my heart as one of my top life experiences.

Monday July 31, 2017 was the day I was leaving my old life behind.  My movers had already come that Sunday to pick up my things. I was headed home to New Orleans. I was broke, jobless, and depressed beyond belief. I had secretly battled with depression most of my college career due to the fact that I was 1,100 miles away from home and my main support system. Post-grad life was no different to be quite honest. I was depressed, barely eating, and mentally starved.

November 23, 2017, Thanksgiving, had come and my anxiety had reached its peak. I was working at Home Depot and Finish Line to make ends meet. A time when I thought I would be on cloud nine seemed like a personal hell. The questions about what’s next and the curious looks I received when I said ” I honestly don’t know”. It was the honest truth, I didn’t know what was going to happen next in my life. I was mentally exhausted from filling out hundreds of job applications. I had received three different phone interviews from places around the country. Jobs that I seemed like a shoe-in for, only to either have the recruiters stop replying to my emails or ignoring my calls. I was defeated and at my lowest point.

I was trying to live up to the expectations that I thought everyone had of me. Scared to disappoint my family who were so proud of my accomplishments thus far, that I felt like I had let everyone down by not doing what I went to school for. I was applying to jobs that I honestly didn’t want, but in all honesty I just wanted a chance to start somewhere and launch my career. I settled on becoming an elementary school teacher. Yeah, I know still not journalism.

So boom here we are on December 20, 2017,  my first official day as a elementary school teacher. 4th and 5th grade science brought to you by Mr. Jones. What had I gotten myself into ? I had no prior experience as a teacher, other than mentorship programs I helped with. It was a steady income though… no more peddling shoes or drill bits. I had actually started a career, not just a part time job to get by.

As months have gone by, I’m still in that funky place of the unknown. I have a good job and money to live and do as I please, but I am still unhappy.

I have grown complacent in life because I had taken a safe route post graduation. Now don’t get me wrong, I love teaching and I have grown to love my students as if they were my own. I just have this fire burning inside me that just won’t go away. The love of my life… Media, Journalism, and Entertainment. I had worked my ass off in college and I’m not about to let that passion go.

So here I am… getting back to what I love to do. Creating content and informing people. I have prayed and asked for favor in my future career. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started grinding, so that I can be where I want to be in life.

No, I am not in my glory yet but I have a renewed spirit. I have a new sense of self and a re-lit flame that burns bright inside. Every day isn’t smiles and sunshine , but life never is. I wrote this as a type of therapy, because I know I’m not the only one who has gone through a difficult transition into adulting. So I will leave you with a snippet of a song by Jessie J that has helped me get through those rough days. Keep pushing and keep God first in all your actions.

“Don’t lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It’s okay not to be okay
Sometimes it’s hard, to follow your heart
Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising,
Just be true to who you are”